WISDOM IS CALLING about FRIENDSHIP

 

It has been said that of all the things upon the earth a faithful friend is the best.

The Bible tells us of the   WISDOM    of having good friends. 

Eccl. 4:9 – 10 reveals “two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.  For if they fall, one will    LIFT    up his companion.  But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up."                                

Prov. 27:17 tells us, "As iron sharpens iron, so a man SHARPENS the countenance of his friend."

In 1 Sam. 18 we read of a great friendship between David and Jonathan.  18:1 After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond of love between them, and they became the best of friends. 3  And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself.

In Philemon 1:1 Paul starts his letter off with how he thinks about Philemon

“Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, …… to Philemon our beloved FRIEND  and fellow laborer,

While it is wise to have good friends, one should beware of the  WARNINGS   that God’s Word has about having the WRONG kind of friends.  Without a doubt, our friends influence us. 

“He who walks with the wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.”   Prov. 13:20

Friends are like buttons in an elevator.  They can take you up or they can take you down.
 There are a number of verses in the Word of God that issue strong WARNINGS.

Prov. 28:7  Whoever keeps the law is a discerning son,

              But a companion of GLUTTONS shames his father.

 Pr 29:3  Whoever loves wisdom makes his father rejoice,

But a companion of   HARLOTS   wastes his wealth.

Pr 20:19  He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets;

               Therefore do not associate with one who    FLATTERS   with his lips.

I Cor. 15:33, "Do not be deceived: Evil company  CORRUPTS      good habits."

You may have heard it said this way: (You lay down with dogs you get up with fleas or One bad apple spoils the whole bunch or you mess with skunks you will surely stink.)

 

A     WISDOM IS CALLING

Prov. 12:26 say, "A   RIGHTEOUS man should CHOOSE his friends CAREFULLY, for the way of the wicked leads them astray." 

Prov. 22:24-25 says, "Make NO friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.”  

 

Psalm 1:1 says, “Blessed is the man who does not   WALK  with the company of the ungodly, nor even STANDS near the way of sinners, nor SITS in the seat of the scorners.”  We must take  PRECAUTION  in whom we associate with.

 

 

 

An example of a BAD friendship and the horrible consequences that can come from that friendship can be found in II Sam. 13 where Ammon, the son of David, is encouraged to fulfill sinful desires by his good friend Jonadab.  Because of Jonadab’s advice, Ammon rapes his half sister Tamar. Ultimately Absalom murders Ammon because of this.  Ammon would have been far better off if he did not have a friend like Jonadab.  He needed a friend to confront his sinful thinking, not one who encouraged sin.

 

In choosing your friends you will be wise to choose very carefully and exclude those from your inner circle those who would pull you down.

A     WISDOM IS CALLING

Ps. 119:63 says, “I am a companion of all those who   LOVE   you and those who keep your precepts.”   In other words my friends love the Savior, the Scriptures and the saints.

 

We have read the WARNINGS of bad friendships.  Let talk for a moment about the WAYS to develop great friendships for developing a great friendship takes time and work.  Someone said   "I went out to find a friend and friends were no where to be found.   I went out to be a friend and friends were found everywhere."  

Years ago Dale Carnegie wrote a book that teaches us WAYS to make friends. 

He titled it How to Win Friends and Influence People. In it he gives six simple, but profound steps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We all need to remember that we don’t    take   friends, we   make    friends.
 
King Solomon, long before Dale Carnegie, wrote in Prov. 18:24 that a “man who has friends must show himself friendly.” 

As we think about having friend we should also think about being a friend.  In the Book of Proverbs Solomon will reveal quite a few QUALITIES a friend will have and display.

 

# 1 In Prov. 17:17 he wrote that "a friend   LOVES  at all times and a brother is born for adversity."  

Ø  "A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you just the same."

 # 2 Prov. 27:10 says, "Do not forsake your own friend, or your father's friend."  A key quality is   LOYALITY.  "A friend is someone who comes in when the whole world goes out."

A true friend will always be your defense attorney before they become your judge.

# 3  In Prov. 27:9 he wrote, "Ointment and perfume delight the heart and the sweetness of a man's friend comes from his counsel."  Friends   LIFT    their friends up. 

The Indian word for "Friend" literally means "One who carries my sorrows upon his back." 

I love reading how the apostle Paul was encouraged by Titus.  Check these verses out in 2 Cor. 7 starting at verse 5. For indeed, when we came to Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were troubled on every side. Outside were conflicts, inside were fears.6  Nevertheless God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus,

Paul received the TITUS TOUCH!!!!

# 4  In Prov. 27:17 he wrote, "As Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."   Friends should be able to  LEARN   from one another.

# 5 In Prov. 27:6 he wrote, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."   Friends do not   LIE  to each other. Friends are honest. 

Not only do they not lie to their friends, they don’t lie for their friends.

A good friend will confront you instead of condoning your sin. 

“A friendship cemented together with sin will not hold.”

# 6  A Friend is someone who will    LISTEN   to you and then give great insight.  Friends are great advisors.  Prov. 11:14 says “In the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

# 7 A friend is someone you can  LAUGH   with.   Friends add joy to life.

No man is useless as long as he is a friend.

# 8 A friend will    LAY   down their life for the friends.

John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends”

NOTE: Jesus is the greatest friend you will ever have – He died for you!!

 

WISDOM IS CALLING TO YOU TO HAVE AND TO BE A GREAT FRIEND!   THERE IS WISDOM IN HAVING FRIENDS BUT WARNING NOT TO HAVE THE WRONG FRIENDS.  THERE ARE WAYS TO MAKE FRIENDS AND WE HAVE SEEN WORDS THAT DESCRIBE A REAL FRIEND!

SO WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE AND WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?

Be an EXAMPLE - How to live to help others Live I Tim. 4:12

                                                Be an EXAMPLE

Nothing is more confusing than people who give good advice but set bad examples. Norman Vincent Peale

As a Christian you have a testimony and that testimony is both to unbelievers and believers.  To the unbeliever we should make the gospel known by both word and deed.  We should live in a way to make the gospel attractive which definitely means not being offensive.  The message may very well offend but the messenger should not.  One of the most important things we must do with the unbeliever is live with integrity.  We should have great reputations of honesty and integrity with those who are lost. 

With believers we are to have testimony in which others can imitate.  I am a firm believer that people learn more by what they see than what they hear.  You must be consistent.  In 1 Peter 5:1-4  Peter talks to elders about being shepherds of God’s people and he says it is crucial to be examples.  Notice the passage: “The elders who are among you I exhort, I who am a fellow elder, and a witness of the suffering of Christ, and a partaker of the glory that will be revealed.  Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly, not as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock; and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away.”  I Peter 5:1-4

The root meaning of the word “Being” is to engrave.  It is the signature of your soul.

I want to challenge you to be an example to other Christians.

Take a moment and read these verses spoken by the Apostle Paul: 

"Therefore I urge you to imitate me." (I Cor. 4:16)
“Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ” 1 Cor 11:1 (NKJV)
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." NIV
"Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you.   (Phil. 3:17)  
“Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me - put it into practice.”  (Phil. 4:9) 

The Apostle Paul called for believers to imitate or follow him as he followed Christ.   The Greek word is equivalent to our English word “mimic.”  

Now as Paul was training Timothy to be a spiritual leader he called on him to be an example:

I Timothy 4:12 says, "Let no one look down on your youth, but rather be an example for the believers in word, in conduct, life, in love, in attitude, in faith and in purity." 

Here we have 7 areas to be an example to others with our lives.

First is our words -  our conversation reveals character!   Our words reveal who we are.  We can help others with our words or we can hurt others with our words.  We can heal or we can harm.

One of the key verses on words is Eph. 4:29 from NIV “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Secondly is our conduct or our daily behavior.  Our actions should always be to glorify God- to please Him.  One of the key verses on conduct is Phil. 1:27 Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel.”

We read in 1 Samuel 18:14 how David behaved wisely in all his ways, and the LORD was with him.

Thirdly is our life or better stated, our purpose with life.  It is what we are living for and what we are living for should be Christ and for eternity.   We should be an example that Christ is first.  

In Luke 2:49 we find that Jesus Himself is a great example of having His life in order as He stated that He must be about His father’s business.

Fourthly we are to be example in love and as Christian our love for one another is the biggest thing that distinguishes us.   Jesus said people would know we are His disciples by our love for one another.  Loving people that are loveable is easy.  When we really make our mark is when we love those who are unlovely.  The time a person needs love the most is when they deserve it the least.

Fifth, we are to be examples in our attitude. Your attitude should be one that makes you enjoyable to be around.   One of the key verses on our attitude is Philippians 2:14 “Do all things without complaining and disputing,”

Sixth, we are to be examples of our faith expanding.   We walk by faith.  There will be all types of moment that will call for us to trust God with those moments.  One of the key verses on faith is Heb.11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.”

Seventh, we are to be examples of living lives of purity.  One of the things ways we live very differently is our lifestyle when it comes to purity.  We have a clear call from Acts 15:29 that we abstain from... from sexual immorality.

Once again the full verse for I Timothy 4:12 says, "Let no one look down on your youth, but rather be an example for the believers in word, in conduct, life, in love, in attitude, in faith and in purity."  This is how we are to be an example - this is how we are to live so others know how to live.

One of my favorite poems on being an example says:
I'd rather have an example than a precept any day
I’d rather one would walk with me than merely show the way
The eyes is a better pupil and more willing than the ear
Fine counsel is confusing, but an example is always clear.
I soon can learn to do it if you let me see it done
I can match your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
The lectures you deliver may be very wise and true
But I’d rather get my lessons by observing what you do;
I may not understand the high advice you give,
But there is no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.

So in conclusion are you an example that others can follow?   Will they see Jesus in you and will they find you living like Him?

Continue Strong,
Dwayne